Then came the mid-seven-ties and business starts to slow
How we’d survive till things perked up we really didn’t know
Recession here, recession there, it truly caused us strife
And clients started falling as if trimmed off by a knife

Still we muddled on somehow, just struggling day-by-day
And strangely made it through but then new trials came our way
One client quits, another stalls, as each one feels the pinch
And me, I stumbled on, and fought for every single inch

To gain new business I’d resort to every trick I knew
But all my efforts went for naught no matter what I’d do
I’d rave, I’d rant, my anger flared in utter consternation
The more I tried, the worse things got, I’d rage in pure frustration

The mortgage running three months late, we’d surely lose the house
With cards of plastic all charged up, I felt like such a louse
But way down deep inside of me still lived unbridled pride
Yet soon was I to learn there was no place for it to hide

The Scriptures quote all things laid bare to Him who sees it all
With ego steeped in arrogance, I had so far to fall
For sure I’d find new customers, for sure I’d make a stand
While little did I know that Someone else would play my hand

Self Revealed 

One summer day in August, on a day so fiercely hot
I watched a road crew patching holes to smooth the parking lot
I sat cool by the window while they toiled all soaked in sweat
And soon a thing would happen that I never shall regret

I saw a man quite handicapped with twisted arms and hands
And why they let him slow the crew I could not understand
In pure contempt I judged the man, so callous in disdain
And then it happened, something strange, and no way to explain

As if he’d heard a voice, that twisted man walked to my door
And when I saw him drawing close my chin near hit the floor
How could it be, can’t have him here and stinking up my space
My clients want a cleanly spot, he’d only bring disgrace

He struggled with the heavy door and finally made it in
And for a drink of water asked, my patience growing thin
“There is a fountain out the door and on the other side.”
He thanked me kindly, went his way, “No problem,” I replied

No sooner had he left when then it hit me, what I’d done
Denied a drink of water to one loved so by God’s Son
Those early Bible stories came back streaming like a flood
My spirit seemed to have no life, my heart had turned to mud

For just a moment there I sat in quite disbelief
What kind of man turns one away, provides no cool relief
I flung myself outside the door, there’d be a second chance!
The man was gone, he’d walked away without a second glance

The balance of the day was calm, my guilt assuaged with work
But deep inside I knew the shame—and close-by there it lurked
Home for dinner, kiss the kids, their homework up and fed
An easy chair, some TV news, then it was time for bed

The deep of night is time when thoughts of failures start to creep
But if a spirit’s willing maybe something good you’ll reap
Eyes wide open, 1:00 A.M., my mind is running wild
With thoughts anew how I’d denied God’s poor afflicted child

I thought of friends and family so unpleasant could I be
And when they’d try to reason how I never tried to see
My temper short, my language foul, my spirit cold and numb
And in those thoughts a question, now—just what had I become?

I lay there in reflection while my wife slept by my side
She’d wouldn’t understand and so in her I’d not confide
In quiet desperation, all my pride was stripped away
I saw the failure of my life, I’d built it day by day

Then once again as if a light came beaming ‘cross my face
Thoughts of childhood Bible stories quickly found their place
And of the Man, so pleased was He, when someone shared a cup
With little ones, He loved them so—His own life He gave up

At once I came to realize my wretchedness and pride
My life immersed in shambles, from a truth I couldn’t hide
So to the Lord, my Jesus, whom I’d known as just a child
I cried out in my spirit, “Take it, Lord—this life defiled!

“Lord come and take this life and if some good thing You can make
Please do so, I don’t want it, take it now for others’ sake.” 
My life laid bare, I meant each word from in my heart so deep
Some time for more reflection then I drifted off to sleep

Life Takes A Turn

Next morning I drove off to work not thinking of the night
I’d put it all behind me and for me the day was bright
No single thought of all the things that I might rearrange
But in the weeks and months to come some things began to change

Profane would be the term that would’ve best described my speech
But in the weeks that followed foul talk ended with a screech
On rare occasions when I slipped and let a “blue streak” fly
It felt so wrong I noticed there a mist came in my eye

I didn’t understand the full transaction that was made
For sure had it been left to me I’d never make the grade
But slowly, very slowly my desires were growing clean
And long-time friends now marveled at the change in me they’d seen

Recalling younger days in church and sweet things I’d believed
I wanted my two girls to have the same things I’d received
Recalling, too, how I was raised in that small Baptist Church
It seemed so right that I should start to make a careful search

It wasn’t long before I found the church that I believed
Was just the place we all should go—and now I felt relieved
The month was January and the year was seven-nine
The church, First Baptist, Dallas, and old things were left behind

We started Sunday School and then we up and joined the choir
The fellowship was everything—it filled our hearts desire
But in our Sunday studies men were sep’rate from the girls
John Barron was my teacher, he was such an elder pearl

I hadn’t been in Sunday School for more than 20 years
And so with knowledge limited it fostered many fears
I hoped John wouldn’t ask of me a story or a Psalm
And there was always moisture present, right there in my palms

The greatest fear a newbie has is being asked to pray
And sure enough, pretty soon there came that fateful day
“Let’s ask our brother Bob if he will lead us in a prayer.”
In numbness I just sat there as the others must have stared

I bowed my head and closed my eyes and hoped I’d find a way
With shaky voice I started in, not knowing what to say
I’m sure I offered, “Thank you, Lord,” and said my A-B-Cs
I’m sure I must have ended, “Now I lay me down to sleep…”

A Time For Growth

A landmark summer, that same year, a time when I would grow
To offer help to those in need, from counsel love would flow
We used TV from coast to coast—found those who needed Christ
And I was shocked to be so used (and some folks weren’t so nice!)

A bank of phones—one-sixty strong—and I would man just one
They’d start to ring and I’d go numb, yet trusting in the Son
No training had I had that would equip for such a task
But we were told, if we were stumped, to simply come and ask


As nights past by my spirit grew, excited sharing Christ
And though the nights and drive were long, it seemed no sacrifice
For 40 nights I made the trek, then 40 minutes home
The nights were dark as I returned, rejoicing all alone

But then it started, very strange, some dark, accusing voice
It came to me to mimic and to ridicule my choice
'Just who are you to think that you’ve got anything to say? 
The bottom line is you don’t know if you are even saved!

 ‘What makes you think that you’re so good that you can help someone?
You’re just a fraud, for they don’t know of all the things you’ve done.’
On it went, night after night, while I would drive back home
That voice would come and badger me, unsure and all alone.

Regardless of  “the voice” I would continue on God’s path
That surely stirred the enemy, but I was spared his wrath
Yet was I saved? It surely seemed my life had seen a change
For there were things I knew that only God could rearrange

The growth of each one’s spirit is a thing to be desired
So when there was a seminar my motivation fired
I’d lap up every-thing I could and then I’d look for more
The things of Christ were all the things that made my spirit soar

Then on assignment I was asked to write how I was saved
A testimony, sound and true, when my heart was engraved
So there it was, the very thing that voice had said to me
I’d not recalled the time and place when God had set me free

Still I was urged to ask the Lord to show me, if He could
The thing that brought me to my knees, to show me that I should
And so He took me back, right to the time and place before
When I turned away a crippled man that He’d sent to my door

The love of God so overwhelms and fills my heart today
Confirming I belong to Him and can’t be snatched away
The life He gave so freely when I recognized my need
And then and there He did the work that sprouted from the seed

Click to listen … and thank you for allowing me to share.

Lyrics
I know the great salvation, Lord, 
That You have bought for me
My spirit ever grateful, Lord,
My heart on bended knee

I stand in sheer amazement, Lord,
Your priceless gift to see
You gave Yourself on Calvary’s cross
Then gave Your life to me